Forums excel at individual experience sharing -- one person speaks, the group witnesses. Relational practice goes one step further. It puts the space between people at the center. What happens when two people truly try to see each other? These exercises -- drawn from decades of practice across Authentic Relating, Circling, and Getting Real -- train exactly that.
Two people sit facing each other, making eye contact. Person A says: “Being here with you, I notice…” and completes with any present-moment observation — a sensation, an emotion, a thought, something they perceive about the other person. B responds: “Hearing that, I notice…” They alternate back and forth.
The key rule: observations must be unarguable. “I notice your breathing slowed” yes. “I notice you’re nervous” no. Stay on your own side of the net.
One person takes the “hot seat.” Anyone can ask any question. The hot seat person can answer truthfully, decline, or even lie — it’s their choice. The only permitted response from questioners is “Thank you” — said at any point, which signals the person to stop talking, even mid-sentence.
Before sitting, the person chooses their intensity level: mild (“What brings you joy?”), medium (“When did you last feel lonely?”), or spicy (“Who in this room are you most drawn to?”).
Facilitator ends each turn on a high note. Optional close: group shares “What I get about you is…”
Address someone: “[Name], I have a truth for you.” They respond: “I’m listening.”
Share using the format: “When you [specific unarguable moment], I felt [emotion].”
Receiver responds only with “Thank you.”
Truths can be positive, negative, or neutral — the key is sharing impact, not evaluation. “When you asked about my daughter by name, I felt seen” is a truth. “You’re such a good listener” is a compliment — different thing.
Chairs in a circle, one fewer than participants. The person without a chair stands in the center, shares something true about themselves — anything from “I’ve been to five continents” to “I feel uncomfortable in large groups” — then asks: “Anybody else?”
Everyone for whom it’s true stands up. All standing people scramble for new seats (can’t return to same or adjacent chair). Whoever is left standing goes next.
“Nobody Else” variation: share something you think is uniquely true for you. If others stand, it’s a reveal; if no one does, it’s also a reveal.
Someone names a stem. Each person completes it going clockwise; the person who suggested it answers last. Anyone can suggest the next stem. Pass is always allowed.
Solo reflection, then sharing. Each layer gets 45 seconds:
Then share — whatever feels right to offer to the group.
Each person completes the stem: “If you really knew me, you would know…”
Can be done in a single round, or in multiple rounds of increasing depth. The moderator can choose to pause after each share for the group to respond, or let shares flow popcorn-style.
Simple in structure. Often produces the most significant moment of the evening.
One person sits in the center. Everyone else takes turns offering sincere, specific appreciations — not “you’re great” but “I appreciate you for the moment last month when you stayed on the phone for two hours.”
The person in the center only receives — no deflecting, no “oh it was nothing.” Just take it in.
Rotate until everyone who wants to has sat in the center.
One person receives the full attention of the group. Members share their present-moment experience of being with that person — observations, feelings, curiosities, the impact of being in their presence. The “circlee” responds authentically. A facilitator guides the group.
The aim is to “get someone’s world” — not to analyze, fix, or advise, but to be genuinely curious about what it’s like to be them.
The simplest and most powerful phrase in Susan Campbell’s toolkit. When someone says something that lands, instead of going to your habitual response — advice, a story, a deflection — you say: “Hearing you say that, I feel…”
It forces you to check in with your own present-moment feeling before responding. It keeps you on your own side of the net — speaking about your experience, not interpreting theirs.
Not a general statement (“I want you to be more present”) but a specific, in-the-moment request (“I want you to look into my eyes right now”). The specificity is what creates real contact — you’re asking for something your partner can actually give, right here, and you’re taking the risk of wanting it.
The key distinction: you’re revealing a want, not demanding fulfillment. The other person has every right to say no. Wanting is an act of vulnerability, not control.
Partners take turns making specific, present-moment requests for 5 minutes each. The receiver can say yes, no, or offer something adjacent. Notice your patterns — do you ask too vaguely? Do you apologize for wanting? Do you deflect when someone says no?
Note: expressing resentment is not blaming. Feelings don’t need to be reasonable. Naming them clears the way for genuine appreciation.
Susan Campbell’s research found that roughly 90% of human communication comes from the intent to control — to manage how we’re perceived, to avoid uncomfortable outcomes, to protect ourselves from uncertainty.
Controlling communication includes: giving advice when not asked, trying to seem more confident than you feel, telling people how they should feel, asking questions designed to make a point rather than to understand.
Relating means communicating from the intent to exchange feelings and information — to know and be known — without trying to control the outcome. It requires tolerating not knowing how the other will respond.
All the exercises in this library are training for that tolerance.
Most communication blends observation, interpretation, and feeling into a single statement — and the blend is usually invisible. Separating them changes everything.
Keeping these three channels separate is the foundation of all present-centered communication.