A new Forum is not an arranged marriage. Members are placed together as potential long-term partners, with a get-to-know-each-other period of about four months.
The first checkpoint
At the end of that period, members decide and truly commit, instead of making a partial commitment that drags on for years.
The checkpoint coincides with two other events. The facilitator returns to run a second meeting to check the group’s feel, and the first invoice arrives. Together they make a natural in-or-out moment.
Established Forums hold an annual re-up conversation. New Forums benefit from an earlier checkpoint.
Fit
Forum is about growth and leadership. Members should be stretched by people who challenge them, not just people they like. The group must still stay vulnerable and safe.
When one member makes the group unsafe
A Forum values the meta-conversation: stepping back from what it is discussing to look at itself as a system. One member who cannot hold a meta-conversation can make a group emotionally unsafe. Then the elephants in the room cannot be cleared, and members walk on eggshells.