Exercise

The Thing I’d Bring

Time
20 minutes
Where it goes
End of a meeting, or a retreat
Responds to
Depth gap (item 14)

Every member writes down, anonymously, the thing they would bring to a forum that went deeper than this one does. They do not bring it. They only establish that it exists.

What it is

The gap between how deep a forum goes and how deep its members want it to go is invisible by construction. It is made entirely of things nobody says, so it never appears in a meeting, and reviewing your meetings will never find it.

This exercise makes the gap visible in one pass, without asking anyone to close it.

How to run it

  1. Index cards and identical pens. Everyone writes at the same time, including the moderator.
  2. The prompt: something I would bring to a forum that went deeper than ours does. One line. No names and no identifying detail — if writing it plainly would identify you, write the category instead.
  3. Cards go face down in the middle and get shuffled.
  4. The moderator reads every card aloud, in one pass, without comment. No discussion between cards.
  5. Silence. Then one question to the group: what would have to be true here for these to get said?
  6. Do not solve it in the same meeting. Put the answer in the parking lot and open the next meeting with it. What surfaces here is bigger than the twenty minutes left on the clock.

Why it works

Asking a forum to go deeper does not work, because depth is not a setting anyone can turn up. What stops it is that going first is expensive and nobody knows whether anyone would follow.

Anonymity removes the cost of going first. And reading all the cards in one pass answers the question the members could not answer privately: whether the gap is theirs alone or everyone’s. In most forums it is everyone’s, and the room can feel that within about ninety seconds.

What to watch for