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The Second Monday ForumForum Constitution

A personal board of directors for each of our members.


Adopted October 12, 2026  ·  Next review October 2027  ·  7 of 7 members responded
One dot per member on every tenet — an amber dot is a hesitation or a can’t-live-with-it

Commitments at a glance

MeetingsMonthly · 2.5 hrs virtual, 3–4 in person
SummerJuly and August off
RetreatAnnual, overnight, everyone
AttendanceFull; two misses opens a review
DevicesOff during the meeting
RemotePending group resolution
PresentingOne deep dive + one coaching, each year
New membersUnanimous · three-meeting trial
This documentRead in full every year
Confidentiality
01 What is said here stays here.

6 want this · 1 support

Everything said in forum is confidential.

You are free to talk about your own experience in forum — what you brought, and what it meant to you. What another member shared stays in the room.

You may not share another member’s material with anyone, including a spouse or partner.

This holds outside the meeting as well. A conversation in a hallway, on a call, or in a message thread carries the same confidentiality as the meeting itself.

Whoever discovers a breach brings it to the moderator and to the member affected. If the breach was deliberate, the full forum discusses it, and the member may be asked to resign.

Confidentiality does not hold where there is a risk of serious harm, or where the law requires disclosure.

Commitment
02 Monthly, with the year set in advance.

4 want this · 2 support · 1 hesitation

We meet monthly, breaking for July and August.

We meet in person, and join by video only when travel makes the room impossible.

In-person meetings run three to four hours. Virtual meetings run two and a half.

We set the full year of dates before the year begins, and we hold them the way we would hold a board meeting.

HesitationI will follow this, and I’d rather we kept meeting through the summer — July is when I most need this group.
03 One retreat a year. Overnight. Everyone.

4 want this · 1 support · 2 hesitations  Split — worth discussing

We hold one retreat a year, a day and a half at minimum.

We stay overnight in the same place rather than going home at the end of the first day.

We expect everyone to attend, and missing a retreat always prompts a conversation with the forum.

Emergencies happen — a funeral, a birth — and the forum talks about them rather than dismissing anyone. A pattern of missed retreats is usually a sign that a member is withdrawing.

HesitationSeptember is my busiest month of the year. I will be at the retreat, and I want the group to know it is a stretch every time.
HesitationAn overnight away is genuinely hard with young kids at home. I’m in — and I’d ask us to set the date very early.
04 Full attendance, the moderator told first.

3 want this · 2 support · 2 can live with it

Forum is a priority in our lives. We expect full attendance.

If you cannot make a meeting, tell the moderator as far ahead as you can, and tell the moderator only.

Whether a small meeting still runs is the moderator’s call. The default is to meet: small meetings are often the best ones, and members who arranged their lives to be there should not lose the meeting.

Two missed meetings in a year opens a conversation with the group about your commitment.

05 We start on time and we are here.

5 want this · 2 support

Meetings start and end on time, beginning at the stated hour whether or not everyone has arrived.

If you need to leave early, say so at the start.

Devices are off. If you must check one, tell the group why before you do.

Held — pending group resolution
06 Joining remotely

4 want this · 2 support · 1 can’t live with it

A member cannot live with this tenet as written. The tenet does not stand until the group has resolved it. The moderator has the member’s note.

07 Everyone presents. Everyone coaches.

6 want this · 1 can live with it

Each of us presents once a year and coaches another presenter once a year.

The moderator keeps a rolling twelve month schedule, so everyone can see when their turn is coming.

Presenters are named at least a month ahead.

How we speak
08 Experience, not advice.

4 want this · 3 support

We speak from our own experience. We do not give advice.

We say what happened to us and what we learned, and we leave the decision with the presenter.

Anyone may name it in the moment when the room drifts into advice.

Membership
09 Unanimous entry, a bounded trial.

7 want this

New members join by unanimous agreement of the forum.

Before a first meeting, a new member has an orientation call with the moderator, and does a lifeline exercise at their first meeting.

Fees are paid in two parts. A new member who attends three meetings and decides forum is not for them may step away, and the first payment is returned.

After three meetings, you are a member. There is no continuing trial.

10 No one leaves by email.

5 want this · 2 support

A member who is thinking about leaving is encouraged to present that thinking to the group, rather than making a unilateral decision in their own head.

A member leaving the forum makes an exit presentation.

Notice is given at least one meeting ahead.

A departing member remains responsible for costs the forum has already committed on their behalf.

This document
11 Read yearly. Changed only together.

6 want this · 1 support

We read this document in full once a year, at or near the retreat.

Changes between annual reviews require the agreement of every member.

The purpose, the confidentiality tenet, and this rule itself change only by unanimous agreement.

We, being present, adopt this constitution and set our hands to uphold it.

Every tenet here stands because no member objected to it.
The moderator’s copy Everything below this line arrives only in your email. Members receive the document above, exactly as it prints.

The moderator’s read

The Second Monday Forum · 7 of 7 responded — two after the day-3 reminder, none needed the second